How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
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