he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
you never un-have a 4some
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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