I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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