I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
