Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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