no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Acid is not a monday night drug
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
