have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
