Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
