I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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