Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
