So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
