Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
