You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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