dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
