If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
