are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
