I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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