matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
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