Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
