can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
