idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
