was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
