what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize