dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
