We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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