Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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