i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
