Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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