do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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