Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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