Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
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