So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
im holly from the hills drunk
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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