I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Semen is not good for contacts.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
