Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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