You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Randomize
