i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
