i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
as a side note pls kill me
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
