Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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