I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
