he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
