on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
My underwear smells like fireworks.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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