girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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