haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
We left the knife in your bed.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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