How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
