Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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