ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
