i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
