I just gift wrapped bread.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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