so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
