some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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